Happy Halloween/Happy Birthday 95 Theses Charlie Brown!

In honor of this very momentous occasion, I present my Halloween Costume.  Here's a close-up:

I'm not sure if the 47th one will shock you. This person ranked the theses, you can see if you agree. It seems pretty shocking if you've already bought an indulgence. So far, I haven't had any trouble with this costume, just trying to move, drink, and dance with it on. Luckily I haven't run into anyone dressed as Ignatius J. Reilly.

I Wrote a Spoof

To the tune of "I Pity the Poor Immigrant"

I pity the poor president

Who wishes he would've stayed home

Who uses all his power to do evil

But in the end is always left so alone

That man whose tiny fingers cheats

And who lies with every breath

Who passionately hates his wife

And likewise, loves immigrants’ death

I pity the poor president

Who does nothing but complain

Whose chief enemy is poor ratings

Whose tweets are insane

Who rules but is not satisfied

Who fears and is never free

Who goes to fight with truth itself

And breaks the law with glee

I pity the poor president

Who drags us through the mud

Who steals and golfs while laughing

And who covers other lands in blood

Whose rule in the final end

Must shatter like the glass

I pity the poor president

When our judgment comes to pass

The Real Reason Hillary Lost

Guys, pack it up. No more articles, books, or think pieces. This is the real deal:

It wasn't Comey and it wasn't Putin that stopped her. It was the ghost of Oliver Cromwell!At least I think it was Oliver and not that Cromwell.