Monday, February 26, 2007

Bill Takes Swing at Fake Bull Testicles

The story itself is italicized:

ANNAPOLIS, Md. (Feb. 22) - Fake bull testicles and other anatomically explicit vehicle decorations would be banned from Maryland roads under a bill pending in the state legislature.

Hmmmm, I wonder if someone felt jealous.

The measure was filed in the General Assembly Monday by Delegate LeRoy E. Myers Jr., R-Washingon, who says children shouldn't be exposed to giant plastic gonads dangling from pickup truck trailer hitches. The bill also would ban depictions of naked human breasts, buttocks or genitals, with offenses punishable by fines of up to $500.

Of course it s proposed by a guy with the name “LeRoy” it means “the king!” He wants to rule with an iron fist! He wants his will to be known! But he’s just doing it for the kids.

"It's time to take a stand," Myers told The (Hagerstown) Herald-Mail.

Yes, YES! Yes we must take a stand! On what? Against fake bull testicles? Ah hell sure, why not? I’m for laws. I’m for order, ad I’m for REAL bull testicles hanging of the car, none of this fake stuff. The law should allow only natural, God made testicles to be hung from a car. And you have to get them yourself, no being a pansy and getting someone else to do it.

The American Civil Liberties Union objected to Myers' bill.

Of course….

"The legislation is overly broad, and would probably make it illegal to have a sticker on your car of the Venus de Milo from an art museum," ACLU of Maryland spokeswoman Meredith Curtis wrote in an e-mail.

Yes but no one is going to be aroused by her, she’s got no arms! Do they even sell such things? The only magnets I see are of impressionist paintings, but if you stare at them hard enough and long enough, what do you see, A massive penis! Well at least I do…

Pamela Campbell whose Bullhead City, Ariz., business sells fake bull testicles, suggested that the swinging decorations can prompt healthy discussions about anatomy and reproduction.

She lives in BULL-head and she sells BULL testicles, I refuse to believe that. Like I said, it should be fine as long as they are real and not pale imitations. We shouldn’t mislead the kids. There can only be a healthy discussion if the real thing is used, or your own testicles.

"Do we have to neuter all dogs that walk by us?" she asked. "Where does it stop?"

Well my face isn’t usually stuck looking at a dog’s ass for two hours trying to get to the beach.

Last week, Arizona's legislature rejected a measure that would have banned vehicle splash guards bearing racist terms or silhouettes of naked women.

If the truckers object, then let them look at silhouettes of Gay men haivng sex, not just any kind of sex, but GAY GAY GAY sex.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Well who can really own the news?