Fill Up on Phil Lit

 

Phil Lit  has published a poem of mine, The Surreal Craftsman in their spring issue. Fill up on it. 

Turns Out I Got "A Different World" and "Another World" Confused

 

Mailbox to Another World has published two poems of mine. Black Friday Blitzkrieg and Acts of Stopping and Disengaging

A Soul's a Sort of a Fifth Wheel to a Wagon

 

But they still have souls, right?

Soul Poetry, not Seoul Poetry, had published two poems of mine in their first issue. Nothing much about the soul per se. 

Putting the Ben in Beneficiary

 

The Hemlock Journal published a poem of mine called The Beneficiary, click on the link for a terrifying journey into the world of probate, beneficiaries, and goblins

Put the U in UCity Review, by Reading these Poems

 

A Ford Escape Hybrid and David Duchovny

The UCity Review, which is located in the shadow of Washington University in St. Louis, has published 11 poems of mine. They deal with a variety of topics that range from the TV show Californication, to horses, from kayaking on the Potomac to getting a dick drawn on your face.

The Purposeful Mayonnaise

 

On page 21 of the July/June issue of The Purposeful Mayonnaise you can find my poem "Beginning at Passage." It's under the Words and Ideas portion of the journal. 

This Poem's a Hoot

 

The Wise Owl has published a poem of mine called Theme Songs at Birth. Metaphysical dualism meets Seinfeld!

COMPLAINT 16.6

 

Happy President's Day! The Bureau of Complaint has published my work "Here’s a Special Note." Read it and maybe you too will learn the secrets of the universe. 

A Short Story Up Against the Purple Wall

A short of mine, "Delusions of Failure" is up at Purple Wall. Normally I would tell you to read it and enjoy this story about a mysterious DVD of the movie Ishtar. HOWEVER, this is different. Purple Wall posts stories and readers can vote on their favorites. So, read the story, vote using the link at the top, and look for an email with a code you can use to confirm your vote. Said email might be in your spam folder, so check there too.

Here's What's New

Raising a brow or two over at Raised Brow Press with a poem. Check it out for your Saturday morning view pleasure.

What's the Deal with Poetry

Some music to get you into the mood

Hello, and happy Saturday to those still observing the weekend. I just published a poem in The Daily Drunk involving a dream I had a while back. Somehow the show Seinfeld got involved, maybe I was watching reruns of it at the time.

The Poems Come and Go, Including Mine

The Winter Issue 2018 of Come and Go Literary. It includes a poem of mine named Results of Service Not Found. Thanks to Nick Campanella for putting together the issue with everyone's work in it.

On My Mustache

I have a mustache. I don't hide it, I keep it out in the open. When one has a mustache, one has little choice. From time to time the mustache gets some company in the form of a beard. Usually though, it sits all alone on my upper lip. It's a conversation starter, of sorts. Lately I've been noticing differences in how people talk to me about my follicle creation. For instance, Men like to preface any kind of mustache-related conversation by asking me how long it took me to grow it. Women, as a whole, seem less interested. I suppose men who are in awe of the mustache want to know what kind of effort is need, how patient they have to be. Many of them will admit they wish they had the chops to grow what I have. Perhaps it's one of the few jealousies I inspire in anyone.

For women, it's different. there's little interest in knowing the time it took to grow my whiskers. That's fine, sense I'm not really sure myself. I grew a beard in 2007 and shaved it all off on Halloween, save for the mustache. Philosophically speaking, one could make the argument I never grew a mustache at all, I only grew a beard. This would ignore the original definition of a beard. A person can grow one without have a mustache. Abraham Lincoln is probably the best example of this. These days, it's implied though, that to have a beard means having a mustache. Neckbeards are the exception keeping facial hair originalism alive, I guess.

Women tend to make reference to someone else with a mustache, usually a figure from pop culture. There was a point where a lot of the comparisons involved Ron Burgundy. Inevitably, the specter of 1970s porn stars came up. I never got a Tom Selleck reference, but I used to glean allusions to Daniel Plainview or Bill the Butcher. Around the 2010s, Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec took over and for several years after I couldn't go out to a bar or a party without someone (most of the time, a woman) comparing me to him. I took it in stride, since he's generally considered a fine character on the show, our political disagreements notwithstanding.

So I'd make a reference to Duke Silver, or eating all the bacon and eggs, and that would please people. After Parks and Rec went off the air, mentions of Ron Swanson dropped off. It made sense, he was no longer on television. Thankfully, nobody called me John Bolton, who probably sets his mustache using the blood of dead Iraqis. Or former Trump attorney Ty Cobb . In fact, people generally left me and my mustache alone through most of 2015 to 2017. It was able to exist on its own terms, without inviting a comparison to another famous mustache.

However, that's changed. In the past couple of weeks, I've been getting Ron Swanson references all over again. It's weird and it took me a while to figure out what was going on. Why now? Of all times, would he be making some sort of comeback? Then it hit me. The current political climate (which has also been hitting a lot of people literally lately) explains it. People, especially young women, are binge watching Parks and Rec the way Liberals watched The West Wing during the Bush years. It's a coping mechanism, especially since Leslie Knope and Hilary Clinton are spiritually linked as characters (and Amy Poehler has played both).

Inevitably, watching Parks and Rec for Leslie Knope means seeing a lot of Ron Swanson. Seeing him, makes one think of his mustache. Then seeing me, makes him the easiest reference point. I guess going forward, I can judge the state of the country and its level of despair by how many references I get to Ron. The fewer, the better. Maybe in some far off glorious day, I will be getting compared to Randy Bryce instead of Ron.

Tuck Somewhat Everlasting

Two poems of mine have been published in Tuck Magazine. Read them.

Trying to Hypernormalize a New Word: Sclerotica

Chris Applegate's Brilliant Work

I coined a new word at work the other day. I didn't use it in a sentence with anyone else, however I came up with it all by myself. The word?  "Sclerotica." Here's a definition:

Sclerotica (noun): materials that reveal and revel in the hardened paralysis of the system. "Adam Curtis is a purveryor of sclerotica."

FREE RADICALS!

Spend the night with them and other poems at the Basil O'Flaherty Review

We've Hit 30,000 Views!

I tried to find the right flag but each one I posted ended up with me getting carbombed

Although the hits could just be from my mother...or yours. No matter. In honor of this historic milestone I have seven poems you can read in A New Ulster (magazine headquarters pictured above). I'm right next to Walter Ruhlmann, who has published my work before.

Let's Just Say This Is In Honor of National Poetry Month

Thanks to Jeremiah Walton, I have a poem up at his guest blog called "A Clip Show."

And thanks to Tina Hall, I have a poem in Van Gogh's Ear. Inhabitants of Falls Church may enjoy it.

There are also two poems of mine in Yellow Mama, for good measure.

Let's hit 22,000 Blog Views

....By the end of January. I know you people can do it. If you need to be entertained while here, I have a poem within the cyberpages at Carnival Magazine. Here is a poem on the lighter side from Dressing Room Poetry as well.

Make Your Own Attack Ad and Read Some Poems

He was also called hermaphroditical 

If you want to make an ad either attacking or promoting yourself for a hypothetical candidacy, you can do so here. Make sure you have plenty of embarrassing Facebook pictures and statuses on hand.

Another poem of mine is up at Misfits' Miscellany

And here is one you can read over at Bard Is Bong.